I realised at the age of 46 that I was a woman who had spent life just getting on with everything, work, home, helping friends and family. I put myself at the bottom of the pile and under lots of stress. I could usually hide my stress by putting on an invisible mask at work or with people. Eventually, it got harder to keep the mask on and one day it fell off completely at work. My colleagues were worried and for the first time, I admitted to myself there was something very wrong.
Work suggested I might benefit from some coaching sessions, so I decided to accept. It turned out I needed Jan’s coaching more than I cared to admit. I was conditioned not to think about ME at all. I had a strong need to please others to my own detriment. Saying no was not in my vocabulary because I thought people would think I was selfish or worse.
Jan helped me to see ‘it’s ok to say no’ and that there doesn’t have to be a reason or even if there is, I don’t have to share it! I always saw the worst-case scenario in situations. Jan called this – catastrophising and our conversations enabled me to see how I could put things into an alternative perspective. Just taking a few minutes now and then to breathe and relax made a lot of things clearer. I have found I don’t always have to be the fixer or the grown-up who always gets things done. I can take time for myself because it is absolutely normal and essential for my mental health.
Jan opened the door for me to a lot of life’s lessons that I didn’t get taught as a child or ever thought applied to me and I will be eternally grateful to her for that.
